WisteriaSky233's Notizen, 19 Apr 24

I am not condoning divorce. I don't and never will. However, I’ll also state that a life in misery is no life at all. If and when you two do separate, DON’T immediately jump into a new relationship with someone else; particularly your “friend”. Im offering this as an older man who has seen it over and over and over and over again… with family members and acquaintances too many times. Until you are happy and content and confident in your own life, you'll not be able to see clearly enough to choose a new life with anyone else. You have never mentioned children; which in this case is a good thing. Take a year or two and become your own person before even considering a life with someone else. Nothing but best wishes for you. I’d add… if your husband has had others who have left him…maybe he really is the common denominator and he too needs to be on his own a while too.  

I think you did what you needed to do. In earlier posts you said your close friends advised you to make that decision and I would guess they are closer to the situation and know what’s best for you. Just remember to not start anything else with your male “acquaintance”. Give yourself time to heal and be happy. Good luck! 

I agree with the 2 other commentators. Live your best life first. Heal from the disconnect happening, then if your male friend is still available and suitable for where you are at in life, then consider an intimate relationship. After i left my abusive situationship, i honestly stayed single for close to 3 years before i met my current spouse. Yes we had issues but thankfully that wake up call changed alot and those same issues have improved!!  

Sure he may be showing he is "crushed" but he wasnt trying his hardest in the first place to keep you and work on issues. He was ambivalent about the issues. I say his loss. You begged for change it didnt happen. Another take is quite possibly a guilt trip to regain control over you using emotion.  

I agree with everyone’s comments. Good for you on making a decision and take time for yourself. It’s the best thing you can do to move forward in a healthy way. See a therapist for yourself if need be too. I did and it helped. 💜 

Congratulations WisteriaSky on stepping up and doing the right thing You have a beautiful future ahead. (I don't have much sympathy or respect for the man who's claiming he's a victim, and that you're just one more person who let him down.) You deserve a pleasant, harmonious home with your kitties. One day, you will find a man mature enough to show he cherishes you and will put in the work to create a true partnership. 

Wisteria i know you are pretty young. How old is your husband? Just curious it seems like he may be substantially older and it also seems to me from afar of course, that he is manipulative with you. Seems like a pattern has been emerging from him. If im right in my supposition he sucks a young girl in, keeps up the mannerisms that one you and others over, then resorts back to his regular personality when enough time goes by. Any truth in that? As ive said before, life is really short, and you should be not only at peace but happy for joy of life. 

Mannerisms that won not one. That was autocorrect. 

Yearofhealth2023 he is going go be 60 in June and I'm 38. Yes he came over to get some things tonight and was trying to woo me. I'm just drained but he took the rv and will be gone for a month.  

Im guessing when he drove away you felt a weight was lifted off your shoulders and chest. Please take the advice of others on here and take time for yourself. Dont just jump into another situation till you have processed this relationship and whatever ownership you have in finding yourself in such a negative situation. What are you looking for, what do you deserve, how should you be treated and so on. Those are questions and answers you will want to find for yourself. You are only a few years older than my girl and my heart goes out to you. Take time for yourself. Heal.  

A big brave step. Kudos to you! Take some time and treat yourself as you wish to be treated. 💓